Thursday, June 11, 2009

Alvin and me

This morning, I realized that a chipmunk had invaded our house.

This presented a new pest control problem for me. I've dealt with a lot of varmints over the years in my various domiciles, but chipmunks were new. Would they eat poison pellets? Could they be driven out my back door? Did I really want to dispose of one stuck to toxic glue?

I don't like mice, but I understand them. They avoid humans and I can play a long game of killing them with poison. Chipmunks, though, LIKE humans. And not just the food. I know because when I woke up this morning one was crawling across the bed. I flicked my leg and sent it sailing across the room.

How much would a chipmunk in the bedroom not work for my wife? I cannot in words express such a massive amount of not-workedness. So I went to the hardware store and bought a metal chipmunk trap to capture the tawny rodent alive. Forty bucks! But I considered. With poison, you wait. A live trap has a chance of immediate results--immediate as in, before my wife gets home from work. And I admit deep down I've kind of wanted a metal animal trap in the past. No reason. Just another irrational desire related to hardware.

I baited the trap with peanut butter and granola. Ten minutes later, bang. It took me longer to *set* the trap. I walked the unhappy chipmunk to the forest near the golf course down the street and turned it loose. We were both happy at the parting.